Is the glass half full or half empty? Is that even your glass?

Sunday, 24 October 2010

It can't be unheard!

One of the biggest benefits of working behind a bar is, oddly, sometimes one of the biggest drawbacks. With people all along the bar talking to each other but physically facing your way, the amount of information you can't help but hear is utterly unreal. Sometimes this can be useful information, news of an ill regular patron, an interesting fact to file away with the other icebreakers, or just an amusing anecdote about life. Other times however, you hear things that...well...you really wish you could just scrub from your mind with an extra long cotton bud.

To give an example, I will share with you one of my favourite tales i've overheard in my bar of late. There are many i could tell but this one is fresh in the mind, and to be honest fairly horrible. A group of gentlemen settle at the bar to celebrate one of their number recently becoming a father. The customary large cigar and brandies are making their appearances, and as the evening draws on the conversation turns to the un/lucky fathers new responsibilities. Another member of the group offers up this gleaming pearl of wisdom, from their past experience:
"Never change your kid on a wooden table fella, i don't know what it is they feed them but that shit stains! Its still there!"

So there you have it. If i ever find myself in the situation to return this advice to anyone, i can consider my life just that little bit more complete.

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